Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Time for a Change?

I really need something to get me seriously motivated again. Whatever I do, I cannot seem to get into that mindset that I AM going to do this! I seem to have slip ups everyday and my weight is not going down, if anything it's going slightly upwards.

I've been thinking for a while how I am wasting a lot of money on weight watchers online. I pay $16 a month and I haven't been tracking like I should, nor am I utilizing the website like I did when I first joined. Hubby and I are trying to manage our money better and I could probably eliminate the $16 a month. What I like about is that I can track my progress from the very beginning with nice charts. I am sure that has been instrumental in these first 40 lbs. I've lost, but I'm not sure if it's what I need to continue.

Or is it just me? Do I need to force myself to track those points online. Sometimes I wonder if just going back to the old-fashioned tracking in a journal would help me out. I guess I'm afraid of canceling my membership. I feel like I'd be canceling my goal to lose weight, which I don't want to do!

With the two days of exercising that I got in, I started to feel sicker. Yesterday I took as a rest day, and now today I am feeling a little bit better. Not sure what to do about that either? Keep waiting it out, or is it completely unrelated? I have been sick for 6 weeks now I'm really tired of it.

I think If I was up to running again that would really help. I feel so hopeless and helpless. Tears are actually coming to my eyes as I write this. I need help and I just can't seem to help myself right now. I wish I had someone who could cook my meals, tell me exactly what I could eat and there would be no options. That's just it, I have choices, like every other human being, and I'm not making the right ones.

Just today, I had done very well. I came home, had some smart pop popcorn, which is fine. Then I indulged in 3 truffles, a mini Hershey's bar, and 12 whoppers. I understand that I need to get that stuff out of the house but I don't feel right throwing things away. I'm too attached to that kind of food, and maybe that's another thing to think about.

This weekend I am going to take the time to plan out my days and all 3 meals. I need to be more organized. Thanks for the idea of making a list of all of the foods that I shouldn't touch and the good foods. I think I will try to work on that too.

Overall, I'm a bit of a mess and I don't want to undo all of my hard work. Food should not be that important to me, why do I struggle so much?

I know you're probably tired of hearing me talk about this because I've been posting about getting back on track for a long time now. Bear with me as I fight this battle...I'm trying to be honest as I post on here...I hope you'll stay with me. Your encouragement means the world to me.


  1. Have you thought about or ? Those are free food trackers with forums available.

  2. Hi. I am new to the community and found your blog. I know exactly how you feel. In fact, I thought this was something I wrote. It can be so very discouraging to go through day after day and not get the results we want so much. But you haven't given up and I know you can do it. I felt the same way a few weeks ago. I decided to join WW and the online services are free if you join with a monthly membership. Having to check in with someone helps me keep accountable to my goals and plan. I think your own suggestion of writing things down the old fashioned way is good. Try it out for a week and see how it goes. Take pictures of the food you eat. You can do this! Keep your head up and continue to be honest. This battle is hard! BE that change!!!

  3. I'm a member of WW online in Germany and used to use their tracker everyday until I saw WW sold food bought one as I wanted it when I went on holiday, not knowing if I'd have access to the internet and needed to track..
    I'm still using that book and have 2 weeks left as the book is for a 12 week program..
    I've seen WW sell a whole years diary for tracking so going to buy the 2010 one and make sure I keep tracking as its the only way I can have control
    Its so much harder to get on the wagon during winter time...but please do yourself a favor and remember you are special and need to be taken care of...


    ...will count calories and points and has charts...FREE



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