Tonight I hit a MILESTONE.
It was unplanned, unexpected and completely fulfilling.
Hubby and I cuddled up to watch the first episode of Losing it With Jillian. I even watched it eating a cup of peanut butter crunch covered in guilt. I felt hopeless. I felt like I wasn’t getting anywhere. Almost 2 years and barely 53 lbs. to show for it. Was all of the effort I have been putting into this really worth it? What do I have to show for it?
At first I was really disgusted by the show. It made me hurt for the people I was watching. It made me feel self conscious and question if I was just like them. I felt like Jillian was yelling right at me and her words hit home.
I realized that I have to choose to become a different person. It’s up to me. I make the choice. But my choice isn’t going to affect only me, but my husband, and my future family.
It was right after that episode that I said, “Let’s go run a mile.” Hubby was all for it, even though he had a hard, laborious day at work and was physically exhausted.
We hopped on our bikes and rode down to the track in town, a quick 5 minute warm up.
I put on my iPod and we pushed off from the starting line. I thought to myself, “Just get around this track once, just a 1/4 mile. You can do that.”
I got to 1/4 mile and 3 minutes had passed. “Well, I can run 5 minutes, that’s the longest I’ve always done. I can at least do that.”
5 minutes passed, “Well, I’ve almost run a 1/2 mile, I might as well finish it up.”
Once I had run a 1/2 mile, it just seemed like common sense that I could finish the whole thing. After all, I was half way there.
3/4 of a mile came and then I tried to push it a little harder. Hubby came back and ran that last lap with me. I pushed it as hard as I could to get to that finish line.
The first mile I have run in my entire life without walking one single step.
Those numbers mean the world to me. Tears literally streamed down my face.
I am the girl who could barely fit into the XL gym shorts in middle school and high school. I am the girl who was made fun of for my athletic inability. I am the girl who was always picked last. I am the girl who could never even run 1/8 of a mile.
I am that girl. I WAS that girl. She is a part of me. But I am a new woman. I am capable. I am strong. I am determined. I can do whatever I set my mind to. I will not quit.
If I can do this, so can you.