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Friday, April 30, 2010

Finally Friday!

Just an update that I am still doing well! :) I feel like I’ve really gotten my focus back and I haven’t weighed what I weighed this morning since April 4th!

I’ve noticed that a lot of people are struggling. The people that were dieting at work are falling off the wagon. It actually makes me feel like I am successful. Because I have lost 50 lbs and am still keeping it up. Usually, I’m like my co-workers and I lose 10 lbs. and fall off of the wagon. This time, I’ve got it right.

Today is my last day of classes so I am psyched! This is the first time all semester that I fell behind in the reading for class today, so I’m a little nervous about going to class! But it’s the last day…what’s the worst that could happen? I figure I’ll have this weekend to play catch up as I prepare for finals, etc.

What are your plans for the weekend? I plan on writing a 12 page paper, doing 100’s of pages of reading, preparing a presentation, and studying for a final. Sounds like fun, huh!? I’ll definitely sneak in some me time in there somewhere. We have city-wide garage sales tomorrow, so we’ll be sure to check those out for some steals! :)

Have a great day and Don’t Quit!

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Weigh In Day

I weighed in this morning and had gained 1.2 lbs from last week. I knew this was coming and I had made up my mind not to let it affect me because I have new resolve. I weighed in at 238, so I’m right at the 50 lb lost mark and I’m happy with that.

Today has been a better day. My eating has been on track and I’ve felt in control again. I’m currently enjoying my Blue Machine Naked Juice that hubby surprised me with! Yum! It makes me feel healthy. I’m even limiting myself to half of the bottle, one serving size. One day at a time. Little steps will get me to my destination, even if it takes a little longer!

There’s something about weigh in day that allows me to forget everything I did last week and focus on this next week. It’s like New Years Day. Like new years resolutions on a much smaller scale. 1 week is very manageable, wouldn’t you say? I’ll have to start thinking of it more like that.

I cannot thank those of you who commented enough for your support. Each and every word means so much to me. I’m going to save those comments to a word document and read them whenever I get discouraged. They were so uplifting and just what I needed to hear. Why was I afraid to come on here and post my weight? You have all been where I am at now and you’re all so understanding. I should never feel like holding back on my blog again. You’re all so supportive and motivating to me. Seriously, if you’re feeling discouraged- read these comments and you’ll feel better! :) I am blown away by your continued support. Thank you all so much! :)

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Again

I am looking toward weigh in tomorrow with dread.

As of this morning, I was up almost 3 lbs. It’s very likely I will lose part of that tomorrow, but I’m not crossing my fingers.

I’m angry with myself for not being able to pull myself together. I am frustrated. Why do I do this to myself?

I know that if I follow my points to a T and exercise that I lose weight.

So why don’t I do that?

I don’t know what makes me eat. Emotions make me eat. Work has been incredibly busy and that gets stressful. I don’t have a moment between calls and there’s no time to do my reading for school, like I’m able to do in our slow season. Could this be it?

I haven’t exercised since I got sick last week. I’m not sick anymore. I haven’t run since I ran the first day of week 5 of the c25k for the first time. How long has that been? Far too long.

Why doesn’t this click in my head? Is there something wrong with me? Am I failure?

My husband asks me all the time if I’m giving up? NO! I’m not giving up! I hate it when he asks me that.

But all of the signs point towards it. I can’t blame him.

I must change this. I must make a stand and do the right thing for myself. For my health. For a chance at a healthy family someday.

But right now I just need help. And I’m the only one who can help me. It’s a frightening thought. Can you tell how lost I feel? How out of control I feel?

I can’t seem to express it. I don’t mean to come on here to whine or to complain about how tough it is. I write this to try to explain. To let you know how many times I’ve contemplated not posting my weigh in results for tomorrow. To prove to myself that I am not giving up.

I’ll be here tomorrow.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Weekend in Review

I can’t believe the weekend is practically over already. It went so fast, but it always does!

Friday night I didn’t feel like cooking so hubby and I tried out a little pizza place we had never been to before. I was really impressed. The pizza had a thin crust and had absolutely no grease on it. We’ll definitely go there again. We were the only ones in there for most of the time! It was a cute little place with a lot of character.

We came home and watched Celebrity Apprentice, episode 2. It’s entertaining for sure!

Saturday, we had to go over to the in-law’s and help trim pine trees. I was thinking there were 2 or 3 trees. WRONG! There were like 20! It was my MIL and my job to haul all of the branches to the fire. We did this for about 3 hours. I regret taking my heart monitor off- I didn’t want it to get ruined by sap- because WOW that was a workout! I am sure I burned a TON of calories!

After that, we went over to a friend’s house who wanted to get rid of one of her flower gardens. I got as many perennials as we could fit in the truck! We came home and planted them.

FedEx was supposed to deliver a package to us on Friday. The tracking said it was delivered but we never received it. We were worried that someone had stolen it off of our porch and were pretty upset about it. Hubby had ordered a bike hitch off of ebay so we can haul our bikes easier. We were like, who would steal that, seriously?! So while we were out planting the flowers, an old lady drove up and said that the package was delivered across town at another elderly woman’s home who wasn’t able to get out of her door because the package was in front of her door. So we went over there and picked it up. We were so glad it wasn’t stolen!

The great news about this is that we have a camping trip planned soon! We’re going to bring our bikes because there are some bike trails where we are going! I can’t wait!! We are in long need of a vacation. It will be 3 days, but it’s better than nothing!

On Sunday, we did our usual and just relaxed. I baked some banana bread and hubby made up some rhubarb sauce. Yum! I love when the rhubarb is ready. Speaking of, our strawberries have blooms and our raspberry bush is taking off! I’ll have to take pictures. This will be the 2nd year, so we should get fruit this year!

My eating hasn’t been the greatest this weekend. So far the scale is fine though. I really need to get it together. I don’t know what is wrong with me. I care about it and I’m not giving up, but I can’t seem to be 100% dedicated! I think it will help when I’m done with school in a couple of weeks.

Hope you had a great weekend!

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Weigh In Day

I lost 1.6 lbs this week. I’m very happy with that because it’s a loss. :)

That put me at 236.8 and I have lost 51.2 lbs. It’s not my lowest, but I only hit my lowest for one day a few weeks ago.

I have a cold of some sort so I have all of the symptoms that go along with it. I’ll be happy when this is over!

Monday, April 19, 2010

The Weekend

On Friday night, I had the opportunity to earn extra credit by attending a performance by San Jose Taiko. It was pretty interesting, but after 2 hours of it I was ready to get out there! They were very talented and they must be extremely fit to be able to drum and move around for that long! Seems like it’d be a fun workout. Taylor Swift actually did something similar to what they did at her concert we went to last year. Now I just have to write a 2 page paper about it and get my extra credit!

We stopped at McDonald’s on the way home for an ice cream cone. I like their cones because they’re only 3 points and they taste good. Whomever was working there made the largest ice cream cones I have ever seen. So I ended up counting it as 2 ice cream cones. So much for a low point treat! I suppose I could have thrown it away, but didn’t even think about it until now! I remember growing up we’d always be happy when they made the cones exceptionally large. Now I realize that it’s just too much ice cream and I don’t need that much, so I look at them more with dread than with excitement. Progress! :)

Saturday, we went to a grand re-opening of one my hubby’s favorite stores, Farm and Fleet. He likes the tools and all of the guy stuff there. I look around, but it’s a pretty boring store. :) But, I got a call later on and I won a $25 gift card! So hubby is already planning on what he is going to buy. haha.

We brought along our bikes and went for a bike ride on a trail out there. It was REALLY nice. The trail is beautiful and PAVED! We’re used to riding on the trail here that is rock/gravel. So it was a lot easier to go a lot farther. We are definitely going to make a day out of riding that trail sometime in the future. I burned 233 calories on the quick ride.

We got groceries and headed on home! Later on I made Gina’s Chocolate Banana Souffl├ęs. I had never made souffl├ęs before so I was a little nervous! I had some extra ripe bananas and decided these sounded delish! And they were! They turned out really good. I’ll definitely be making them again.

We played catch with a baseball and I burned 213 calories doing that. What a fun way to burn calories! I played softball in high school my freshman year, and I’ve always liked baseball since then. I sat on the bench most of the time, but I did learn a lot and can catch and throw pretty well. :) I had hubby throw the ball short or long so I could run/jump to catch it. It was a really good workout and I want to do that more often!

We have an enclosed porch and this year we’re really putting it to use. We put our old couch out there so now there’s a comfy place to sit down. Hubby and I sat out there in the evening and I continued reading for school. For the past couple of weeks, both professors have assigned 40+ pages a day! That gets kind of hard to get done! I’m glad I only have 2 more weeks of class left though!

On Sunday, we went to church and then came home and relaxed the rest of the day. I continued doing more reading. I was really sore from playing catch, especially. So we didn’t do much for the rest of the evening, but it was nice to relax!

Hope you all had great weekends! My weight is up a little this morning and I’m hoping it comes off by weigh in day- just need to stick to my points!

Friday, April 16, 2010

Check In

Yesterday was another good day. I need to keep this going!

I’ve started going for walks on my breaks at work. It’s nice get to be outside in the nice weather. Plus, on my long days, I get 20 minutes of exercise with no problem whatsoever. I enjoy it and it helps me refocus and calm down. Yesterday was so windy I thought I was going to blow away!

I’m happy it’s FINALLY FRIDAY! Today I have a short day at work and then on to school. After today, I will have 2 weeks left of classes and then 1 week of finals!! I’m way excited about almost being done!

I’ve lost my puffiness again and the scale is going down. I feel so much better! Having the right attitude makes all of the difference.

Have a great day and keep a positive attitude!!

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Oh, Happy Day!

Today was a good day for me.

I made a conscious decision to turn it around.

I don’t care how many times I have to do that, I’m going to keep doing it. Every time I fall down, I’m going to get right back up!

I was able to get a box of Kashi puff cereal on sale and with a coupon for less than $2. My hubby and I both really like this cereal! Only 1 WW point too. I was amazed. So I had that for breakfast this morning with a banana cut up in it.

Work was the usual. But I took a 10 minute walk outside on my break. The weather was gorgeous. 80* and sunny today. I love it!

School was fine. It’s very hot inside and it just makes me so tired! There are windows everywhere, but they’re really heavy and no one can ever get them opened. Fire hazard, anyone?

I came home and sat down for a bit and then made myself get up and go for a bike ride! I knew that I wanted to do something outside, but running would be too hard for me to do in the heat. Just the thought of it made me want to just sit down again. So I decided to go biking. It was well worth it.  I listened to Kenny Chesney beach music and set my mind’s eye on a different setting than the streets of small town, Iowa. It was great and so relaxing. I burned 269 calories.

I’ve decided that I’m not going to push myself to run if I don’t feel like it. As long as I am burning calories and getting exercise, that’s what is most important at this point. I don’t want to give up on running, but at this weight it’s just hard and I don’t look forward to it most days. I need exercise to be fun, like it was today!

For supper, I made up a delicious taco salad. Yum! I made a conscious effort to try to eat healthier. Instead of having my usual, couple of tacos, I decided if I had a salad I could save the points on the shells and probably eat 1/2 of the meat that I would have otherwise. Hubby and I had been eating a lot of avocados lately. They are really high in points but I know they’re good for us. I just cut up about 1/4 of an avocado and weighed it. It counted as 1 point, well worth it and just enough!

I thought a lot today about empowering myself. Believing in myself. Holding myself accountable. Setting high standards for myself and believing that I can attain to them. I am going to work harder at believing in myself and you should too!!

There is nothing we can’t attain to if we set our minds to it!

Weigh In Day

I weighed in this morning and gained .2

There’s not much to say because I know why I gained, yet again.

It seems kind of redundant, getting on here to say that I’ve gained or that I’ve messed up in some way, yet again.

But once again, I just have to keep going on.

But I feel like I need a good, swift, kick in the butt. What’s wrong with me!? haha

Monday, April 12, 2010

Just Another Monday: Check up On New Year’s Resolutions for April

Today I am in control again. Sugar is not weighing on my mind. I did not eat candy or cookies or any of the things that trip me up yesterday and I can see the results today.

I am much more together. Much more focused.

It’s amazing what sugar does to me! I don’t notice it so much when it’s in foods, but I do notice it when I eat chocolate, candy, cookies, cake, etc. They certainly trip me up!

Today was just an ordinary day. Work in the morning and school in the afternoon. Nothing exciting. Work was hectic and busy. People were angry and moody and I get tired of dealing with it. I really shouldn’t work in customer service. lol.

I also realized that I need to check up on my New Year’s Resolutions and see how I’m doing:

1. Run a 5k. – I’ve progressed to week 4 of the c25k. My progress is slow and I have to admit I’m getting a little discouraged and don’t think I’ll be able to run a 5k this year, but I know I will eventually.

2. Be a better wife. – How do you measure this, really? But I could always be taking steps to be a better wife. I feel like I’m doing what I can.

3. Continue to become healthier- I have to admit for the past few weeks I’ve been taking steps backwards in this category. But the important thing is I haven’t given up.

4. Get debt under control- We’re still doing really well in this category but we have been going out to eat more than we should!

5. Weigh less on January 1st 2011, than I do on January 1st 2010!- As of last week’s weigh in, I am down 7.6 lbs. So I guess I’m still on track, but I’d like to see the weight come off faster. I am not sticking to plan like I should be and that’s why.

So there we have it! Still room for improvement.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

The Weekend

We had a great weekend. It was the first time in a long time that we’ve been able to just relax without anything else going on. It was WONDERFUL!

Friday night, we took Hubby’s parents out for dinner for their 35th wedding anniversary.

Saturday, we worked outside. I got to mow the lawn for the first time this year and burned 277 calories! I did some yard work and burned quite a few calories that way too. Here are some picture of the tulips on front of our house:

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Aren’t they beautiful? I love the spring flowers!

We were able to go on an hour long bike ride Sunday afternoon. I burned 501 calories doing that. It was nice to get some fresh air and sunshine. I love how burning calories is so much more fun when the weather is nicer!

I realized once again that I have a big problem with sugar. So today, I made a conscious effort to just stay away from it. It’s working. I feel like I’ve made a lot healthier choices today than I have for a long time. I went over my points a bit, but it was still a better day, eating wise, than I’ve had for a long time!

I’m going to make this a good week!

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Weigh In Day

I know I have been MIA lately. I miss you guys! I haven’t had the time to sit down and blog or read too many blogs lately. But I’m hoping that everything will slow down now! Just minutes ago, I finished a 10 page paper I’ve been stressing over and I think that’s the last big thing I have to worry about until Finals week! :)

Last week was stressful for me. Monday I found out that instead of having 2 semesters left, I will have at least 4. That was a HUGE disappointment to me. I have been in college since 2004- no I am not a doctor. lol I am just trying to get my BA! I can only afford to take two classes at a time, so this is just the way it is for me. But I came home and ate that day… I let stress get the best of me.

So what I’m saying is, I gained 3.6 lbs this week. I am at 238.2, just .2 above that 50 lb goal I met last week. Let me tell you, I am never going to see 238 again. I am back on track today!

I can identify where the downward spiral began, which is just insane. I had 2 girl scout cookies on Thursday night. Within points and completely planned, but it threw me off. I have been craving sugar and junk since then. I seriously have a problem with sugar.

So that’s where I’m at. I’m tired of coming on here to tell you all that I have flip flopped once a gain. I go from being on track to falling off the wagon. Well guess what, I’ve jumped back on that wagon again! 2 steps forward, 1 step back- I’ll get there eventually and that’s all that matters!

Thursday, April 1, 2010

An Amazing Day

I had the most amazing day today. I took the day off of work to work on a presentation that I had for school. Any day that I don’t have to go to work is probably going to be a good day!

Let’s not forget that I lost 4 lbs, finally getting past that 50 lbs goal!

I was able to get my presentation together, eat a good lunch, and go to class. I had a feeling the presentation went well and I felt organized. I was nervous, but I made it through. I also got a paper back in that same class and got an A! So that made my day even better!

I decided to get an armband to hold my cell phone and a Kleenex for when I go running. I don’t mind holding my iPod but have you noticed how none of the women’s workout pants have pockets? Kind of weird. So that was the last part of my $50 Health Shopping spree. I ordered my food scale in chrome so it should be here next week sometime.

I came home from school and went for a run. The weather was absolutely gorgeous. 75* and sunny. I decided to try week 4 of the c25k. I did every part, but on the very last 5 minute run I only ran for 1 minute instead because I felt beat. But I still increased my running time a lot! I can run 5 minutes straight!!! That seems amazing to me. I got home and checked my heart rate monitor and I had burned 378 calories! I burned about 248 on the the previous weeks runs! But it said my max heart rate was 227, which doesn’t sound good to me. I’m not sure if that is accurate or not, but I’ll try to keep a better eye on it. I felt absolutely fine, just tired.

I also picked up some almond butter, which I have been dying to try. It was on sale for $4.99 and then there were $1 off coupons. That’s a good deal, I think! WOW- That stuff is absolutely amazing!! I was really impressed with how good it tasted. I’ll definitely be buying that again!

So that was my day and I loved every minute of it, except for maybe when I had to give my presentation. :)