Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Another Milestone

The bad weigh in this morning doesn’t mean anything compared to what I did tonight.

I ran 2 miles without stopping. That’s right, 3 weeks after I ran my very first full mile, I have been able to double my distance. That makes me so proud of how far I have come. It took me 28 minutes, and I know that’s a snails pace, but I really shouldn’t care about that. I’ll get faster. Right now, it’s about endurance.

Funny, that’s how I feel about my weight loss journey right now too. It doesn’t matter how fast I lose the weight, it’s about endurance. It’s about going at my very own pace so that I can make it to that finish line strong. Right now, I’m not even halfway to goal, but I know that I can get there.

I have my 5k race coming up on Saturday. I’m still nervous about it. I don’t even know if I can finish in 40 minutes based on the time I had tonight for 2 miles. I know it shouldn’t matter how fast I finish- and I really need to stop worrying about it! I guess I just don’t know what to expect. But I would feel a little silly if I jogged the whole thing and came in with the walkers. lol

But I’m happy I ran those 2 miles. I set a goal that I wanted to be able to run 2 whole miles before the 5k and I did it. And you know what? I KNOW I can and will do even more. :)

Weigh In Day

I gained 2 lbs this week- putting me back at 233.4, exactly the weight I was 2 weeks ago. It’s always disappointing to see the number on the scale go up instead of down, but 2 lbs isn’t going to kill me. I will lose it again. Like Lori commented on my last post, it’s the overall big picture that counts. As long as the number on the scale goes down in the long run.

I’m not going to focus on the failures of the past week but I am going to move forward and do better today. I started off my morning with some Irish Oatmeal from Trader Joe’s. I didn’t really see much of a difference from the regular quick oats. But it was tasty none the less!

I am having a really hard time right now emotionally (?). I am getting stressed out way too easily. Everything bothers me lately. And yesterday some elderly lady was crying on the phone at work and it just makes me feel terrible. I think she may have had dementia or something too, but still, I don’t want to make old ladies cry! But people can’t expect me to credit them $500 for something they haven’t returned yet, we just can’t do that. It’s common sense. But I still feel bad for people sometimes. I think my main source of stress is work and then I become that much more sensitive with everything else. It makes me wonder if I need some Prozac or just a new job? :)

So that’s where I’m at right now. Today is our last day of work for 4 whole days! I cannot wait!!

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Pre-WI Day Fears

So last week I was so “with it” and eating all of the right things and getting my exercise in. This week, my motivation is lacking a bit. I stepped on the scale and I am even further up from yesterday’s weight. More than likely, I am going to have a big gain for WI day tomorrow and that just sucks- but I know where I went wrong.

My eating yesterday wasn’t too bad. I did well for the most part. But we made tacos last night for supper and I can always count on a sodium gain the next morning, so that might be part of it. We’ll have a lighter supper tonight and hopefully that will help the WI tomorrow.

2 more days of work and then it’s a long weekend! I can’t wait!

Monday, June 28, 2010

Monday Morning

I was worried about stepping on the scale this morning after my weekend filled with rich foods. But I weighed in at the same weight I was Thursday and Friday morning. So I stayed the same, but I am still up from WI day. My goal for the next couple of days is to make the weight drop for WI day! I know I can do it.

I was dreading working out this morning for some reason. I think that once I start eating foods that aren’t good for me, I start with the self loathing and then my confidence and self-esteem drops tremendously. When I don’t feel good about myself, I don’t want to exercise either. But exercise is the cure. I made myself get out there and I ran 1 mile and walked 1 mile back. I had my fastest mile so far, 12:22. My first mile was 13:15. So I am slowly improving! I really want to run 2 miles without stopping, and I’m sure I can, but I feel like 1 mile is a lot of work for me right now. Wednesday night, hubby and I plan on going for one last, long run before race day on Saturday. I want to be able to run 2 miles on Wednesday night. I would really like to be able to run 2 miles without stopping at the race and then walk a little bit and finish it off running. But maybe that would wear me out too much if running 2 miles is hard for me. I don’t know what to expect and I’m pretty nervous about the 5k!

We stopped at Trader Joe’s in Madison on the way home yesterday. Stocked up on Almond butter and peanut butter and other misc. things. Yum! I love that store. We’re going to have one a little closer soon, they’re building one in Des Moines!

Hope you all have a wonderful Monday! It’s a 3 day week for hubby and me! We took Thursday and Friday off! I can’t wait!

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Saturday

7 AM: I am going to write about what I’m eating all day today to try to keep myself on track. Last night wasn’t so good. I am still ok, but I don’t have very many weekly points left- which isn’t good! I indulged in a small DQ blizzard and had a cookie. All of which I could have lived without. But today is a new day and I intend to make it a better, healthier one.

8 AM: Breakfast served was an egg, a slice of cheese and ham on a bagel. I requested just an egg with the ham and cheese on top. My SIL made me an egg w/ 1/2 slice of cheese and ham. I also had 1 cup of 100% orange juice. Total points-5.5- I also had some coffee w/ flavored creamer- I count that as 1 point. So, I saved 4 points on the bagel- Healthy choice!

12 PM: I felt like I made good choices. I had 1 brat, 1/4 cup of potato salad, veggies, fruit, a couple chips, and 1 1/2 cookies for dessert. I stayed away from the regular pop, but I did have a cup of sweet tea. The cookies are never good for me- once I eat them, I can’t stop.

3 PM: After spending a few hours in the lake and sitting in the sun, I was a little hungry. I ate another cookie. See what I mean?

6 PM: Hungry again, ate another cookie.

6:30 PM: By supper time I felt like I had really messed up. I ate a very small hamburger (on a bun), more potato salad than I needed, 1/2 a brat, more chips than I needed, sweet tea, and 1 1/2 cookies. What a mess! As you can see, I ate way too many cookies. But so was everyone else, but they’re thin and always have been, and don’t have to worry about it! I do. By this time, I was disappointed in myself.

9 PM: My sister in law offered me a small bite of nutella- I took it, of course.

That was everything I ate for the day. I have such a hard time around family. My SIL is an awesome cook and makes the most delicious food. Last time I went to my parents, I did awesome. This visit to my brother’s? I’d say I could have done a lot better. I did drink water almost all day though. We were very active. We swam all day, played catch, and played beach volleyball. I enjoyed myself and had a lot of fun. But I need to figure out how to control my eating!

I’m going to try again today! :) I hope this doesn’t make me gain all of the weight I lost this week. I’m embarrassed even posting this, but I guess I need to show the reality of struggling with food choices and weight loss. So there ya have it.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Now I Remember

I got off of work early yesterday. It was a surprise! I went to work, not really wanting to be there, and after an hour my boss asked me to sign off the phones (which means I don’t have to deal w/ angry people!) and help train someone on a program. So I got to sit and listen to someone on the phone instead- Yay! But then he asked me if I wanted to go home- I could! EVEN BETTER! So I got off of work around 11:30. That just made my day! :)

I went to Old Navy to do a little shopping. They’re having a 30% off of everything in store, sale! Awesome when that happens! I picked everything out in size XXL. It wasn’t that long ago that I was able to start shopping at Old Navy again. I had to swap everything I tried on for a size XL. I even bought a dress that I’m going to wear as a cover up to the lake today. And you know what? I’m happy with how I look in it. I have never liked how I look in a dress because I am disproportionate in my hips and top. It has an empire waist, and that helps slim you down. And an XL- I was so thrilled. I tried on a size 18 skirt, and it went on and I looked so thin in it- but just a little too snug yet! That’s amazing because I was wearing 24/26 PLUS size clothes when I first started. I just smiled at myself in the mirror. NOW I REMEMBER why I’m doing this.

I went to the grocery store to pick up a few items. I parked farther away. I used to drive around forever trying to find a close parking spot- now I don’t worry about it. I walked at a steady pace and saw two women (one with her belly hanging out), smoking cigarettes, who had waited for a close parking spot. So unhealthy looking. I walked right on past them. I can even walk faster than I used to. NOW I REMEMBER why I’m doing this. I don’t want to be miserable and unhealthy anymore.

We had a breakfast potluck at work this morning. My coworkers were telling me their plans to eat a plate of food on their breaks and another plate of food on their lunches. I remember how miserable I used to feel when I ate everything in sight. I ate 1/2 a cinnamon roll and a sausage link so that I didn’t feel I was missing out. NOW I REMEMBER why I’m doing this. So I don’t live with feelings of guilt over food.

Now today, we are up at my brother’s in WI. My brothers, sister and their families and my parents are all going down to the lake for the day. I’m really excited about it! I want to make sure that I make good eating decisions and try to remember why I am doing this.

I REALLY need your advice on the 5k!

Thursday, June 24, 2010

It’s Official

I sent the registration form in the mail today. I am registered for a 5k on July 3rd. Hubby, my brother and my sister-in-law are all going to run it.

I am pretty nervous about this. I know I can finish but I don’t want to come in last. I think this goes back to gym class in middle school and high school. It’s like running the mile all over again, except it’s 3! I know I can’t run the whole thing and that I’ll have to walk here and there.

I know the most important thing is that I finish and I don’t give up. I need to stop worrying about what I’ll look like and just focus on myself. Hubby says he is going to stick with me the whole time during our first race. I know he could run it pretty fast, but he doesn’t want to leave me behind this first time. Which is really nice of him, but I don’t want to hold him back!

The farthest I have run without stopping is 1 1/2 miles. I want to be able to run 2 miles without stopping before race day. I know I can do it.

Any tips you can give me? Are there others that participate that can’t run the whole thing? This is my very first 5k! How did you do on your first 5k? What was your time? I’d love to hear about your experience and any advice you have for me!

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Weigh In Day

I weighed in this morning at 231.4- that’s a 2 lb loss this week!!! I am THRILLED! That means I have lost 56.6 lbs so far and blew past my goal of 232- which means I get a pedicure! I need one SOOO badly. I did a little happy dance when I stepped off the scale this morning. :) I’m so close to that 60 lb goal now!

The first Two Workout Tuesday was a Success! I did the Yoga workout in the morning and we headed down to the track for the 2nd workout. Hubby ran 2 whole miles, which I’m really proud of him for! I did a walk/run for 2 miles. I mostly walked. I did some seriously fast sprints for about 1/8 mile a couple of times. Even hubby commented on how fast I was going. I can’t wait until I can run that fast for long distances- I feel like an Olympic runner- lol. :) Deep down, I want to be disappointed in myself for not running 2 miles, but I am trying not to do that. I am trying to be proud of what I did. I burned 386 calories, too! But it was 91* and 84% humidity and I  just can’t take that. I was drenched in sweat! But I am going to be proud of what I did and aim for the 2 miles next run!

Since today is my rest day, I slept in an extra hour this morning and it felt so good. I miss being with hubby in the morning, but he left me a sweet note this morning saying, “Good luck on the scale!” :) How cute. It made me smile. Must have worked!

I think I forgot to mention that I had a NSV comment the other day. A lady where I work (that I don’t know) said, “You have lost A LOT of weight, haven’t you?” That just made my day! :) Another NSV- I put on some clothes and headed out the door yesterday without looking in the mirror- when I got to work I was a little embarrassed because my clothes were so baggy I looked sloppy! But YAY for NSV’s!!

Have a great day!

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Two Workout Tuesdays

I am thinking about making Tuesdays- Two Workout Tuesdays. I weigh in on Wednesday’s, so I think the extra workout would be beneficial. Now that I have more time in the morning to workout, there shouldn’t be a problem fitting in a workout in the evening. This morning I did something less intense because my body is sore from running. My ankles are hurting, I really need new shoes but I want to wait until I meet my next 10 lb goal. I did Bob Harper’s Weight Loss Yoga DVD. I did a 25 minute workout and burned 102 calories. It’s definitely not a cardio workout, so not such a big calorie burn! But if felt good to stretch and use muscles I haven’t been using for a while. Hubby and I really need to get a gym membership so we can start strength training- as soon as we have some extra money- that’s what we’re going to do.

My second workout will be a run tonight. I am going to attempt that 2 miles again. Hubby and I will go down to the track, if it’s not raining. Looking forward to that!

Tomorrow is going to be my rest day. My body is just feeling tired and I know I need to let it rest.

I’m hoping all goes well for weigh in day tomorrow. As of this morning, my weight was still down. I’m keeping my fingers crossed. I know I have done everything right this week.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Schedule Change

Hello everyone! Today is the start of a new routine for me. We don’t change work schedules very often, but the time arose and I decided to go with a different schedule. It’ll only last for the summer until I go back on my school schedule. I have worked 7-3:30 for a couple of years now. I decided to change my work schedule to the 8-4:30 shift. I did this solely for the purpose of having time to get in a morning workout. And that’s just what I did this morning! I am still going to wake up at 5 AM with hubby, pack our lunches, eat breakfast, and when he leaves at 5:45, I will head out the door for a run or whatever I am going to do.

This morning I went for a run. It was difficult to breathe and I am drenched in sweat. I looked up the humidity level and it’s 94%- no wonder! I ran from one side of town to the other- something I never thought possible when I first started. It is exactly one mile. I was surprised to see my time was 12:33, my fastest mile has been 13:15, so I’m not sure whether it’s right or not because I ran in a different place. But a mile is a mile I guess! I walked the rest of the way because the humidity was just killing me. I burned 396 calories. I think this will be a good way to start my day. I’m just hoping I don’t dread having to stay at work until 4:30 now! :)

Last night, hubby and I went for an hour long walk. It was super humid last night and miserable. But I did burn 435 calories.

The scale was being nice this morning, let’s hope it continues to weigh in day! Have a great day!

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Saturday

So far, this weekend has been just what I needed.

Saturday morning, we went down to the track. I was scheduled to run 2 miles without stopping for the c25k. I ran 1 1/2 miles and I felt like I needed to stop. I walked 1/4 mile and then hubby ran up to me and said we should run the last 1/4 mile, so we did. I’m very happy with what I ran because the farthest I had run without stopping before that was 1 mile, so I increased my distance by 50%! My goal is to work towards that 2 miles now. With the bike ride there and back and the run, I burned 506 calories- love it!

After lunch, we went down the the pool. This is the first time we’ve been able to go this summer! It felt so good. So relaxing and wonderful. I guess we didn’t put enough sunscreen on though because we are both burnt to a crisp only after 2 hours. The sun intensity must have been up or something because I rarely burn. But, at least I’ll have a tan now! :)

Late afternoon, we headed up to get groceries and a Father’s day gift for Hubby’s Dad. Nothing like waiting until the last minute, huh? :) He’s hard to shop for. But we ended up doing something different and bought him a bunch of fresh fish and different things from the deli, along w/ a gift card.

We ate at Panera Bread. I love that place. I RESPECT that place because they put all of their calorie information and ingredients right on their website and it makes it VERY easy to plan what you’re going to eat. I had the You Pick Two- Strawberry Poppy seed and chicken salad (I’m not sure why there is poppy seed in the name because there aren’t any poppy seeds to be found in the salad), broccoli cheddar soup, and a baguette. 10 points total and well worth it. We always request our gift cards from MyPoints.com for Panera, so we ended up eating for $5.

We went to Old Navy because my swimsuit top is literally swimming on my body. I was trying to find a top to go w/ my brown bottoms, which still fit pretty well. No luck at Old Navy. I’m not exactly looking for a string bikini at 234 lbs, if you know what I’m saying. hehe :) Target only had black swim suit tops in the plus sizes, so no luck. I’m not wanting to spend much money because I’m hoping it won’t fit next year, but I like to swim around at the pool and my top kept trying to go over my head- not good!

So today is Father’s Day- Happy Father’s Day to all of the Fathers! We are having the in-law's over for lunch today and to give him his gift. Enjoy your day!

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Still Going Strong

I’m so happy to say that something has “clicked” again. I’m sure you all know what I’m talking about. When everything seems to fall into line and it’s easy to make healthy choices and the weight starts coming off again.

As I’ve posted, I had one of the most stressful weeks I’ve had in a long time. I did not go to food for comfort once- Not even once. Now that is a huge success for me and I’m so proud of myself. I find myself thinking about going for a run when I’m stressed out at work, instead of thinking about the big cookies in the vending machine. Progress!!

I feel like I am balanced. I eat what I want and never feel like I’m missing out on anything. Don’t get me wrong, I am eating fruits and veggies more than anything else. Like last night, I had a brownie. Just one brownie, and I didn’t want another one because I was satisfied (almost too much so!) with one. That’s huge for me. We’re talking hot, gooey, chocolate. And I only had one. Can I say, “Go Me!” ? :)

Ok, enough cheering myself on for the day. :)

I’m so happy because it’s not supposed to thunderstorm today. Last night we had some crazy weather and were under a Tornado watch. Hubby and I are planning on going to the pool for the first time this summer! It’s finally nice on Saturday!! I can’t wait to relax by the pool and get a tan.

Have a great weekend! Don’t quit!

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Lost

I wish I could say it got better. I posted about my terrible day on Tuesday and it got worse on Wednesday. I had people screaming at me. I work customer service on the phone and I think that people are absolutely vicious when they can’t see you. I know I’m not supposed to take it personally, and I don’t for the most part, but it’s very stressful. Yesterday it got so bad, that I had to sign out and go to the bathroom and cry. After 3 years of working here, I have never done that before. It’s getting to be too much for me. I need a new job but I don’t know where to begin. I keep hoping it will get better.

I think part of this could be due to TOM (which only comes every 3 months or so due to my BC). They also switched my BC to a generic. Could that be messing with my hormones? Isn’t it supposed to be the exact same thing as the name brand?

But I did have a NSV through all of that. I did not go to food for comfort yesterday. Not even once. I actually stayed away from more than I usually do. That was a huge victory for me.

I’m still hoping it goes better today. We shall see. :)

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Weigh In Day

I weighed in this morning at 233.4! That’s a new low for me and I’m so excited about it! I love making progress and not just making up for gained weight. I have lost a total of 54.6 lbs! I have that pedicure reward coming up at 232, next week? I hope so!

Hubby and I went down to the track last night for a “last chance workout.” I did day 2 of week 5. I was a little worried that I couldn’t do it- but I did! It consisted of:

3/4 mile run

1/2 mile walk

3/4 mile run

1/2 mile walk

Those walks really energize me to keep going. The next run is 2 miles straight with no walking. We’ll see about that! I’m not sure I can do that yet! But I will try.

I burned 546 calories though, how awesome is that! That includes my calorie burn for 10 minutes of bike riding to and from the track. I’m going to keep this up!

Have a great day! Don’t quit!

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Gratitude

I just had to post this.

I had a terrible day today. People screaming at me, threatening legal action, not believing that I am a “senior” rep when I am, and basically disrespecting me and my authority because I am a woman.

I came home and the fun continued. Hubby took the day off to meet the cable company for an appointment between 1-5. They called and said they didn’t need to come. He took a day off of work! He called the company and gave it to them. I called the company and took it further. They have terrible customer service. It was miserable. They were rude and did nothing for me but credit $20 to my account and say we could reschedule from 1-5 on Thursday and WOULD NOT verify a specific time so we could be home. MISERABLE!

But then I found out that my neighbor died in a motorcycle accident over Memorial Day weekend and we didn’t even know it. It made me realize that my bad day was nothing at all.

I am filled with gratitude with how blessed I am. I am so thankful that I have a job. I’m thankful that I have my hubby by my side. Nothing else in this world matters but family.

I’m so grateful.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Bike Ride Tour

Hubby and I went on a bike ride tonight. We started off just wanting to go on a short ride and before we knew it, 45 minutes had flown by. This time, I pushed us to finish it out at an hour. We did it and here are the results!

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I like to see higher calorie burns. I don’t usually workout for more than 1/2 hour at a time. I brought the camera and snapped a few shots here and there to show you some parts of where we ride.
We really are surrounded by corn fields out here in Iowa. :)

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This is a shot along the trail, facing our town:
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This is the spot we usually stop at, one mile out, on our evening rides. This trail goes on for miles in the country.

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Me, trying to be an artist. hehe

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This is where the trail ends on the other side of town. The part of the trail across town is paved, a much easier ride than the gravel parts!

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The inevitable Iowa cows on the city limits:

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At the end of the trail looking back across town:

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Another country scene. It seems to stretch on forever, doesn’t it?:

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This Iowa life is new to me. I grew up a big city girl. But Hubby grew up here, so when we got married, I moved here. We compromised by living in a small town. A little country, a little town. :) So there ya have it, a little piece of where I’m from. The ride felt so great! I’m proud of us for going a whole hour!

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Thoughts on Running

It feels like I am making strides *har har* in the running department. :) No seriously though, it seems like since I ran the mile, and I saw what I am capable of, that I feel like I can do anything.

Yesterday, hubby and I rode our bikes down to the track again. Instead of running the mile again, I went back to the C25K workout and moved up to week 5. I am going to attempt to follow the schedule and go on to week 6 next week. Usually, I stick with a week until I feel comfortable to move to the next week. So in total, I went 2 miles. 1.5 miles running and 1/2 mile walking total. It took me exactly 30 minutes. The schedule is 1/2 mile run, 1/4 mile walk, 1/2 mile run, 1/4 mile walk, 1/2 mile run. So considering I walked 1/2 mile of the 2 miles, I feel like 30 minutes is an ok time for me right now. That means I was consistent in my speed because I run 1 mile in 13:15. It was extremely humid yesterday and that made it very hard to run. It was even worse when the sun popped out. But I finished and I’m very proud of myself for doing so!

I find that when I first start running, that my body says, “I want to sit down, why are are you doing this to me?” and my mind says, “You can do this, you’ve done this before! You’re capable of anything. Just keep going.” And after about 1/4 mile, my body starts to give in and everything goes well from there. Maybe it’s just getting those muscles working. I do warm up with a 5 minute bike ride to the track. Not just a leisurely ride, but I get my heart rate up. There seriously is a mind/body connection in running. I always hear people talking about that, so maybe this is an example of it. So not only will I be working my muscles, but I’ll be working my willpower by making myself continue.

As my body screams to just sit down and rest, I remember that 2 years ago, I couldn’t even run 1/8 of a mile. It will get easier, just like it has so far!

Saturday, June 12, 2010

How I Have Changed

Last night, hubby and I went to Applebee’s for supper. As we were waiting for our food, I watched as people received their meals. At a table near us, there was a young couple with a child. They each ordered mini burgers, onion rings, some other fried option, and split a basket of fries. The thought of that much food just made me sick. Our bodies simply do not need that much food, especially the calorie laden kind. It made me all the more proud of myself for truly changing. The changes that I have made have not happened over night. And I realize I still have a long way to go. But I have come so far.

I have been thinking about trying to eliminate some of the processed foods that I eat and replace them with fruits, vegetables, healthy dairy, and nuts. I really don’t know where to begin. How do I know what is processed and what is not? Especially when it comes to dairy, I’m unsure of that. I don’t want to go off into the deep end and completely eliminate all processed foods because I believe in balance and in being able to sustain my healthy way of living. But I do want to try to make healthier choices overall. Lately I’ve been noticing that when I make a vending machine splurge, I am not satisfied and I am left feeling guilty, bloated, and my body drags. I appreciated your tips on ways I can avoid sugar cravings and I want to try to implement them. My goal is to try to choose unprocessed snacks. I love eating wheat thins or baked chips with my sandwich at lunch, but I think I could find a healthy alternative that would satisfy my craving just as well. I know this won’t happen over night either, but slowly and surely I will get there.

Today is another rainy day. It’s supposed to thunderstorm all week. Hubby and I have been wanting to spend the day at the pool some Saturday, I guess it won’t be today! We ran all of our errands last night, so I’m looking forward to a relaxing day at home. I’ll do my usual cleaning (while listening to the Two Fit Chicks Podcast), doing laundry and maybe doing some cooking. Have a great weekend!!

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Miles, Sweets and ER Costs

Hubby and I went for another mile run tonight. It feels so good to be able to run. I love the feeling. I felt myself lagging a little more this time. I watched my time on each lap and noticed that I was 15 seconds slower on every lap. That’s something I need to work on. I gave it all I had on the last lap, trying to get my previous time or at faster. I came in at 13:20. 5 seconds slower than my first run. I was happy with that. It seems pretty consistent at least. My goal is to do a little better each time. I want to add distance to the run, but I feel like I’m really working myself by the end of the mile. Maybe I’ll give it a week and re-evaluate. I feel like I’m hurrying myself, knowing that I might be participating in a 5k on July 4th.

I feel like I’ve been going a little overboard on the sweets lately. Every afternoon around 1:00 I am craving something sweet. I’ve been doing my best to stay away from high calorie sweets and going with small treats. Like today, I had these little sweet tart chewies. I eat just a few. They’re 50 calories for 23 of them. I know I should stay away from sugar completely. Any suggestions for that afternoon craving?

But the problem is, it doesn’t stop there. I came home and ate a cookie. And then after supper I ate a small scoop of ice cream with a tiny bit of sugar free hot fudge and caramel. Embarrassed? You betcha. It wouldn’t be so bad if I had limited myself to one or the other. I certainly don’t need both in one day.

Otherwise, my eating has been on target. We’re so low on groceries right now and that doesn’t help. I like to have Arnold Sandwich thins for my lunches, but those are kind of a luxury at $2.50 a bag when I can buy a whole wheat loaf of bread for 79 cents. But I’m hoping we’ll have a little extra money for groceries this week.

Speaking of extra money, we’ve been working on getting out of debt this year and have been successful. A month ago, we got a bill in the mail for hubby’s emergency room visit back in January for $850. What a shocker! For a 2 hour visit. And get this- today we got a bill in the mail for another $380. I called the company and they said that the physicians don’t bill through the hospital, so there’s a separate bill for them. That’s about 2 weeks of my income right there for 2 hours of their time and a couple bags of fluid, nausea meds and a blood test. We didn’t even see a doctor. How is that ethical?

But- enough of my rant! :)

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Weigh In Day

I weighed in this morning at 235. That shows a 1.2 lb loss and the lowest I’ve been in over a month. I’m happy about that, but I know I didn’t do anything to deserve it. This week is going to be different though. I’d love to lose 3 lbs. this week and get my pedicure! But I know that’s a lofty goal in my own, personal, weight loss experience. I know I don’t lose that much in a week, practically never! But I can still try.

Work has been super busy. One good thing about that is it makes the time go by really fast. It’s also tiring and people yelling at me, literally all day, makes my day kind of hard sometimes! But it’s great to know that I’m over half way through the week. Yippee!

I’m still hoping for a big change to happen soon. I don’t want to announce it until it’s finalized. It has to do with work though and will make my life a little easier. :)

Have a great rest of the week!

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

A Milestone

Tonight I hit a MILESTONE.

It was unplanned, unexpected and completely fulfilling.

Hubby and I cuddled up to watch the first episode of Losing it With Jillian. I even watched it eating a cup of peanut butter crunch covered in guilt. I felt hopeless. I felt like I wasn’t getting anywhere. Almost 2 years and barely 53 lbs. to show for it. Was all of the effort I have been putting into this really worth it? What do I have to show for it?

At first I was really disgusted by the show. It made me hurt for the people I was watching. It made me feel self conscious and question if I was just like them. I felt like Jillian was yelling right at me and her words hit home.

I realized that I have to choose to become a different person. It’s up to me. I make the choice. But my choice isn’t going to affect only me, but my husband, and my future family.

It was right after that episode that I said, “Let’s go run a mile.” Hubby was all for it, even though he had a hard, laborious day at work and was physically exhausted.

We hopped on our bikes and rode down to the track in town, a quick 5 minute warm up.

I put on my iPod and we pushed off from the starting line.  I thought to myself, “Just get around this track once, just a 1/4 mile. You can do that.”

I got to 1/4 mile and 3 minutes had passed. “Well, I can run 5 minutes, that’s the longest I’ve always done. I can at least do that.”

5 minutes passed, “Well, I’ve almost run a 1/2 mile, I might as well finish it up.”

Once I had run a 1/2 mile, it just seemed like common sense that I could finish the whole thing. After all, I was half way there.

3/4 of a mile came and then I tried to push it a little harder. Hubby came back and ran that last lap with me. I pushed it as hard as I could to get to that finish line.

The first mile I have run in my entire life without walking one single step.

13:15

Those numbers mean the world to me. Tears literally streamed down my face.

I am the girl who could  barely fit into the XL gym shorts in middle school and high school. I am the girl who was made fun of for my athletic inability. I am the girl who was always picked last. I am the girl who could never even run 1/8 of a mile.

I am that girl. I WAS that girl. She is a part of me. But I am a new woman. I am capable. I am strong. I am determined. I can do whatever I set my mind to. I will not quit.

If I can do this, so can you.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Diet Soda Cake

cupcake 001

I have been wanting to try this recipe forever and finally decided to give it a try. I was a little bit concerned about how it was going to taste but I was blown away! It’s a simple, easy to make recipe. All you need is:

A box of cake mix

A can of diet soda

Mix them together and bake according to the box directions.

I used a white confetti cake mix and diet mountain dew. I made 18 good sized cupcakes for 2 points each (on the old plan- new points would need to be calculated on the Points Plus sytem depending on what cake mix is used)!! I couldn’t believe it. I topped mine with a little bit of whipped cream and it was delicious and super moist. I’m interested in trying different flavors of cake and diet soda to see how they turn out!

Friday, June 4, 2010

Month Ends- New Begins

In May, I lost 1.8 lbs. That’s terrible. I want to average 4 lbs. a month. I have been feeling really discouraged the last couple of days. I am down from weigh in as of today, but if I don’t get my eating under control, it’s not going to stay there. I wish there was a simple answer to my struggles. If you have an answer for me, be blunt and say it. Thanks. :)

Now for my New Years Resolutions in Review:

1. Run a 5k. – I’m seriously considering one next month, if it works in my schedule. I am still on week 4 of c25k, but have noticed significant improvements and may try week 5 soon! But I need to be more consistent in my workouts. My brother and family are counting on coming up here over the 4th of July and want to run this. I know I won’t be able to run the whole thing but I’m sure I can finish.

2. Be a better wife. – Still working on this one everyday. I think I need to get more sleep so I’m not so moody. ;)

3. Continue to become healthier- I think I am, ever so slowly. I checked my blood pressure the other day and it doesn’t seem to have changed all that much, even on my meds. But we’ll see…

4. Get debt under control- We’re still fighting away! No credit cards! :)

5. Weigh less on January 1st 2011, than I do on January 1st 2010!- I’ve lost 9.6 lbs this year so far. Way too slow.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Weigh In Day

I gained 1 lb this week. I’m disappointed but I’m not giving up. I tracked everything this week. I exercised 4 days, my goal is 5 days a week. There’s always room for improvement. I ate almost all of my weekly points, so this week I am going to try not to eat so many. I had a feeling I would gain this morning based on how my body feels. I feel bloated and ugh. This certainly doesn’t help  my goal to lose 20 lbs this summer. I’m going to all that I can to make next week a better weigh in!

We watched the BL finale last night. It’s so inspiring to see the changes in all of the contestants. It’s so amazing! It’s great to know that I will be there too someday. I’m already getting smaller as it is. Hubby is always commenting on how much smaller I look. I just want the lbs to come off!! It’s important that I don’t get impatient with myself though, as that is why I have failed before.

Don’t quit!