Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Struggle after Struggle

I woke up feeling much better than yesterday! We ended up going to bed at 8:30 like a couple of old people. Winking smile I guess we really were tired! But I felt 1,000 times better this morning after a good night’s sleep.

For breakfast, I had oatmeal with a mashed banana and about 3/4 cup of milk for 6 points.

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My morning went as usual on Tuesday/Thursdays, I did my housework and then sat down to work on homework. I sipped on coffee with creamer while doing my homework for 1 point.

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For my morning “lunch” I ate a tuna (with light miracle whip) sandwich with lettuce for 5 points.

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I also had a light strawberry banana yogurt with strawberries for 2 points.

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And then it was off to school. Before my second class, I ate a Chewy Fiber Bar for 4 points. I accidently grabbed the wrong box at Aldis—I thought I had picked the 2 point bars. I don’t like spending that many points on a snack type food. Sad smile

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On my way home, I ate an apple for 0 points.

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A light cheese stick for 1 point.

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And carrots for 0 points.

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I’m always so hungry when I get done with class. But I went home and made myself deal with the hunger and just wait for hubby to get home. There may have been a couple Bites, Licks, and Tastes. I really need to get that under control too.

For supper, I had leftover Peach-Bourbon Shrimp and bacon wrapped scallops from Red Lobster, Alexia sweet potato fries and a side salad for 13 points.

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A very tasty supper! I finished it up with banana soft serve for 0 points.

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Counting the foods I ate, I am within my points for the day. But with the couple of bites here and there, I’m sure I’m over. I just can’t seem to get control of myself like I used to. I think that being honest with myself will help though. So here I am—! Do you ever find yourself not counting those bites, licks and tastes? It might be ok to eat one little wheat thin, but when you go back and do that a few times it can really add up! I’m looking forward to getting my weigh in tomorrow over with and a new start to my week. It will be good for me to start fresh. Give it 100% and see how my week goes.

But it definitely helped that I got a good workout in tonight. Hubby and I went out for a walk/run. We ran 1 mile straight in 12 minutes and walked 1.3 miles for a total of 2.3 miles in 40 minutes. I burned 324 calories. Nice way to get back into running with a short run!

One thing I noticed while running is that I am able to give it more throughout the entire run, but when it comes to the end I feel like I want to give up. It was the same way with the bike ride the other day and this is SO FRUSTRATING to me because I am always one to really push it at the end. I am usually MORE determined at the finish line. Now I see the finish line and I want to quit. WHAT?!?! It’s all about the inner dialogue and I think this is a sign that I am seriously lacking some self belief and determination. I think it’s safe to say that exercising more will help me with that. And I aim to do just that!

I am sorry that all I have to post about lately is struggle after struggle!! This seriously has been the hardest part of my journey lately and I hope you will stick with me as I push through and figure things out.

My weight has been up the past 2 days. I’m hoping for a big drop tomorrow morning but I’m just going to have to take my weight and move on. One of these days I will get over this hurdle and look back and it will be nothing but a blip on the radar!


  1. Hi Alissa, I'm so sorry you are struggling right now. Hang in there, I know you'll power through (because like the pink laces, you are tough but girly!) and be back where you want to be before you know it. Take care of yourself!!!!

  2. You mentioned your reasons "why" in an earlier posts - but really focus on these - silly as it sounds make a goal chart with pictures of where you want to bed - healthy, mother, active.

    Do you have someone you can email daily as an accountability partner? Do you feel you did better when you attended meetings? What's worked best in the past? Is school stressing you and your coping by using food?

    I'm suggesting these - b/c I've been where you are...

    For the past three weeks, I've been emailing a co-worker every single thing that goes in my mouth & it has helped keep me out of the cupboards at night. If I were to eat something and not email her, I feel like I'm lying.

    I found the accountability and support of the meetings in HUGE in this journey for me. Helps keep me in check.

    What's worked best in the past? When I had my FOCUS and CONTROL, this is part of the reason I started emailing my co-worker it helps keep me thinking DAILY what choices I'm making.

    I'm working full-time and taking three classes - one of which is my senior capstone course for Sociology. The research for the 30 page paper is overwhelming - I feel like I will never get it organized and moving in the right direction. When I'm stressed I tend to EAT! -- other reason the info above has helped me.

    You've got the tools and knowledge for the journey -- just make sure the you're focused on the map. YOU GOT THIS!

  3. I am right there with you. Lets get our weigh ins over tomorrow and see wgat 100% focused week can do! I am on WW to, lets kill it next week! I need a good week next week I am loosing faith =/

  4. Ugh, I've been struggling lately too. Hang in there!!

  5. Hang in will make it through these struggles! You have shown so much determination!

  6. I'm sorry to hear you're having a hard time right now :/ We're not going anywhere!!! I think patience is the hardest part of this journey, if we keep doing the right thing eventually that number will reflect what we want it too. I wonder if stress is causing you to struggle? take a deep breath, and re-shift your focus. you can do it! :) hang in there.

  7. I struggled for about 5 months and it was awful. But I never gave up and after August ended... I flipped a switch and now it seems just like before when I had determination and motivation to succeed. It really sucks but you will get your weight loss mojo back. Just never give up!!!

  8. So glad you are feeling better! Sometimes just getting enough rest can make all the difference int he world!

    Your shrimp looks so yummy!



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