Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Weigh in Day (Not Good)

This week has been hectic. I did ok most of the week, and then Friday I was feeling sick and ate to try to make myself feel better (why do I do that?) and that threw the weekend off a bit.

Normally, I would have been ok, but I had to leave bright and early Monday morning for a little business trip for a couple of days. I had plans to do really well. Epic failure when they order your lunch for you (it was delicious…but not low calorie). And they put candy on the conference room table which everyone was digging into, I had some to try to keep energized. It was information overload and I was exhausted.

Plus, we went out for a fancy dinner at a very nice restaurant and I ate until I was satisfied, but it certainly wasn’t low calorie. And then they brought out TRAYS of desserts, and we all know how much I love dessert. I didn’t eat a ton, but I did eat it, as did everyone else.

I am proud of myself for a couple of things. I got up at 5:30 in the morning and ran 2 miles on the treadmill in the hotel fitness room. I felt better after that. But that’s not nearly enough to cover the sins of calorie laden foods. I also ordered a nice and healthy breakfast of egg whites, oatmeal, pineapple and skim milk.

And you would think that I would come home and eat a healthy supper. Nope, WAY too exhausted to cook, so hubby and I went out for Mexican food…and I followed it up with a sundae. Doesn’t sound like the habits of a changed woman, does it?

I woke up this morning feeling HORRIBLE. First thing I did was start drinking water, eat a healthy breakfast, and pack a healthy lunch. I have to go into the office for the next week for more training and it’s going to be a long one. But I am more than ready to get back on track. As with every time I eat rich foods, I remember why I started eating healthy in the first place—because I hate how I feel when I don’t!!

This morning I weighed 210.2 and I could almost cry. That’s a 3.6 lb. gain for the week. I have a feeling that I will drop quite a few lbs. tomorrow. But I feel so terrible about myself right now. I cannot get it together. I’m not sure why this is so hard for me. How can some people lose 100’s of lbs. in a year, and I’m a few years into this and have been hovering around 80 lbs. lost. Why can’t I have that type of motivation? Why can’t weight loss be easy?

I may need to get back to food picture posting but I know I have too much going on right now to be able to do that. But I need to find it in myself to stay on track even when I’m not showing the world what I’m eating. I’ll do better today. It starts with a single step.

12 comments:

  1. It is hard to travel and eat right..you can do it and next week will be better! Hugs!!

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  2. I agree with Kristi. If eating at home is hard (it is for me at least) than eating out is the worst! That's my experience. You are being very honest with us and yourself so I know you'll have a better week! :)

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  3. You are EXACTLY in the same position as me. Since I have got past the 70lb mark, this is getting SO HARD to keep up. Very odd we have the same struggles at the same time, I blame our birthdate right now!

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  4. I think alot of us are in a position where we hit a certain number and have a hard time getting past it... me included. Just keep trying and it will happen. Never give up hope and always believe in yourself. Plus, ya know... having calorie laden food placed in front of you is very hard to resist. I don't think I could either. Take care!

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  5. I know you've done WW before and decided to try other methods. Any thought to going back? I really believe the accountability might be what will help you. Weighing, measuring, tracking, weekly weigh ins and meetings can be tedious, but they work. Might want to reconsider.

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  6. I'm sorry you had a bad weigh-in. I'm afraid mine on Monday won't be very good, but I could be surprised. I was on vacation all last week and this week I'm stuck doing things in moderation due to an injury. However, I'm not giving up. Still trying, still pressing forward. Once upon a time I didn't have the motivation and drive for this that I do now. One question that always gets me going and helps me focus is: How bad do you want it? Good luck to you! I'm sure you'll kill the scale next time.

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  7. It really feels in my life like it all hits at once! Sometimes I mess up on my own, on purpose. But other times, I have a hard lunch hour and eat junk, hope to be back on plan at supper only to find another unexpected bump in the road and end up eating out or just feeling lazy and cooking something easy instead of healthy. Before I know it, 3 or 4 days have gone by and I've eaten crap and gained 3 lbs! It makes me very upset at myself and makes me feel like a failure. But we're not failures. It's just life. At least you've lost 80. I keep hovering at 20! How pathetic! LOL I went back and joined WW last night (just in case you haven't had time to read my blog). I am scared I will just fail again at that, too, but it's all I really "know" and I just feel so desperate lately that I knew I needed SOMETHING to help me. I don't know what all I'm saying. Just that I can relate to your tears, anguish, gains and losses, motivation and nonmotivation, and beating yourself up over it all. Glad to see you back. I noticed you were missing and wondered if you were affected by the storms.

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  8. It seems like a lot of people are struggling as of late, including me... You did make some good choices, choices of a changed woman.

    It's funny how some *number* just seem to mess a person up. I seem to get stuck about every 5 pounds of my own accord. I think it is a fear of the unknown.

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  9. HI Alissa, it is BRUTAL to stay on track when travelling for business. Be kind to yourself, I KNOW next week you'll be back where you want to be. Take care.

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  10. YOU HANG IN THERE - YOU ARE AN INSPIRATION TO ME - ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU ARE BEING SO HONEST. WE ARE ALL IN THE SAME BOAT - WE ALL GET STUCK. XOXO

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  11. It is very hard. Don't beat yourself up for what you ate. Don't feel guilt. Just move on. If you feel guilt and hate yourself, then that takes any enjoyment you might have had out of the food away, which makes that wasted.

    I think exploring deeper into fear of food or fear of reaching goal might be a good exercise for you.

    {Hugs}

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  12. I have the same sentiment as you. I have been hovering in the low 90kg for weeks now and can't seem to budge. Don't know how those people manage to lose all those pounds throughout their weight loss phase.

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