Thursday, October 18, 2012

I’m embarrassed to admit this…*Announcement*

…but since I have promised honesty to all of you, all of you who often struggle the same way I do, I’m going to put my pride aside and admit it anyways…

So with shaky knees, and a shame face… I admit…

I’ve rejoined Weight Watchers online.

Yes, I know…I swore it didn’t work. And maybe it doesn’t (FOR ME). What do I know? But I’m sure going to find out.

I do know that I didn’t GAIN weight profusely on the Points Plus program. I WAS able to, basically, maintain.

Maybe it wasn’t me. Maybe it wasn’t the plan. Maybe I really had hit a plateau.

What I’ve been doing lately, IS NOT a plateau. I’ve taken steps in the wrong direction by gaining weight, I ADMIT THAT, WHOLE HEARTEDLY. My fault. All mine.

After talking to my cousin about his experience losing 125 lbs., he told me that for an entire year he did not lose any weight and actually gained 20 lbs. before getting to his goal.

I realized, hey, that’s me. There’s hope yet!

Since quitting WW online in March, I have gained about 20 lbs. This morning, I had yet ANOTHER gain and weighed in at 219.8. That was a little shocking because I was prepared for a loss this week. Unfortunately, my weight shot up this morning. But even if I HAD lost, it would have been sheer luck.

I actually joined WW online last night. I decided to set pride aside, admit that MAYBE I was wrong, and rejoin the program that worked for me for so long…until I hit that plateau.

I can’t KEEP gaining. I have been steadily gaining every week for about a month now. And I cannot do that anymore. It’s heartbreaking.

There’s something about being able to easily log my foods online via my smart phone, iPad or computer, to stick with the familiarity of a points based system, and to feel comfortable with my plan again.

I HOPE what I experienced before was just a plateau.

I HOPE that going back to the plan is going to mean I start having losses and no more gains for a LONG time.

I HOPE that accepting that it was just a plateau and nothing I was doing wrong, until RECENTLY (which lately I have been going Oh, SO wrong), will help me to analyze what I am doing to make changes to start losing weight again.

I HOPE that this will be the answer.

I am humble enough to admit that MAYBE I was wrong, but I a DESPARATE enough to admit that what I’m doing now ISN’T working and that something HAS to CHANGE. Quickly.

So here’s the deal. I purchased the 3 month plan. I am going to give this 3 months and check back in on how this is going.

Was it the plan? Was it me? Was it a plateau? I’m hoping to find those answers…but in retrospect, I’m thinking it was a plateau, and I was just.too.hard.on.myself, in classic Alissa style.

Now it’s time to GET BACK ON TRACK, if I hit that plateau again, it will be about FINDING A METHOD to BREAK THROUGH that plateau.

I have FUTURE PLANS! I have a LIFE in front of me. I want to meet my weight loss and health goals.

I have to believe that it is possible. For so long, I have been thinking I hit my personal best. I truly believed that weighing about 200 lbs. was the best I could do, that it wasn’t possible for my body to get any smaller. I started accepting that. I started accepting that I wasn’t good enough, dedicated enough or capable of reaching my goals.

Well guess what?


It IS possible because I BELIEVE it is.

Whatever it takes to get there. No matter how many side roads I decide to take to get there… it’s my journey. It’s UNIQUELY my journey.

There’s no, “I told ya so” or “Hurrumphs” about bit. It’s just me, my own two feet, and my own big heart.

And today, I’ve decided to take this route.

May it get me to my goal.


  1. You go for it girl! I'm the same way, although I'm not gaining much, I've been having a hard time sticking to any plan lately. I hope this will be the time that it works for you, and you can in turn, motivate me! You can do it!

  2. Hang in there girl! I feel like I am right there with you....going up instead of down. But for me I know the problem - I have gotten really lazy with my eating and track and now I am gaining.

  3. I swear I am not copying you, but I have been in mental agony for 2 full days now KNOWING that I need to restart WW. There are things I love about it: I am very good at even guessing at points values now, so I always feel comfortable knowing how much I'm spending. I always eat way healthier foods. I have a goal and aim for it. And then there are things I hate about it: I lay in bed at night planning the next day's meals. I seem to constantly think about food. I eat f/v even when I'm not hungry just because I'm filling my food void. UGH. Your life was upsidedown back when you hit that plateau. There was a lot going on. I bet that had a lot to do with everything. I hope you find great success with the program once more. I just posted about my freedom with not tracking foods and points, and now here I am ready to restart, too. It really does feel embarrassing to your flesh to post about it! LOL

  4. I really admire your determination and your honesty. You are really struggling but not only have you not given up but you continue to share your ups and downs on your blog. I really hope giving WW another go will help kick start you back in the right direction. There's nothing wrong with trying new things and even going back to old things if you feel you need to.

  5. Hey, way to go. You don't want to keep gaining like me - lost 85, regained 70, 1 and 5 pounds at a time. I look forward to your imminent progress.

  6. I'm at the same point-- getting ready to kick my butt in gear! I hope that WW helps give you the new push start you need :)

  7. "hugs" you know I recently re-joined WW's as well. No shame in that at all. I am trying the simply filling right now and it seems to be a good fit for me. Do whatever you need to do for you!

  8. There is never shame associated with trying again. I know you will find your path. There is no deadline.

  9. I hope WW does you better this time!! :))

  10. Aww good luck girl!! No shame at all!!! You are taking a huge step in the right direction!! Good luck we are here to cheer u on!! :)

  11. A girls gotta do what a girls gotta do. Don't be ashamed, no reason to be. At least you keep trying & never give up! I've gave up over & over... You got this girl!!!! :)

  12. I cannot tell you how many times I have rejoined WW. No shame in it! You just need to find something that works for you. Towards the end of my weight loss journey, I hit a plateau and switched to myfitnesspal. I hit goal, but am struggling now and started gaining. Maybe I need to go back to WW now for a while too. The point is to try different things, figure out what works and what doesn't and most importantly, don't give up!!

  13. I rejoined on Monday...much the same happened to me. I really want to kick myself, but it is just time to dust ourselves off and get back to work. Follow the program and be honest about what we put into our mouths! Good luck on your journey

  14. Good for you for not living in denial and catching yourself at 20lbs. I wish I could have done that.

  15. I've been doing WW for ten years but I definitely have to modify the PointsPlus plan for me. I'm short at 5'3" and if I ate everything they allow, I would start gaining steadily.

    I maintained just fine for a full year at 29 points a day and no extra weekly points. Now I have 26 points a day and save the extra three for extras and weekends. That gives me a little "bank" of points at the beginning of the week of 21 points. Right now I have 20 points banked which I will use over today and tomorrow. Our new week begins on Sunday.

    I have never counted activity points or used them for extra food, but I know a lot of people do. Good luck with your new plan. Just having a plan is always helpful to me. :)

  16. I could never do the online thing as it was too easy to cheat. I do the meetings...but I'm with you, I've gained close to 20 lbs. back and am really trying to get on track!

  17. You go girl!!!!! Good Luck Alissa! Keep us posted on your progress. And for the record, you have NOTHING to be embarrassed about! You WILL get to your goal!!! I believe in you! Have a great Friday.

  18. I think WW didn't work for you because of your food selection. The new program doesn't allow for a lot of proccessed junk & sweets, nor should it. The reality is you can't eat whatever you want and see results. You use the word "crave" a lot and that doesn't make it okay.

    Definitely rooting for you but be prepared to make big changes. If you couldn't get under 200 lbs that means you were eating enough to sustain/maintain a 200 lb person.

    I lost 125 lbs and it SUCKED! There were many times I wanted all my comfort foods and chocolate but the reality is, those aren't good for me. Just have to figure out which you want more.



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