Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Too quiet

I've spent my life feeling awkward pretty much all of the time. I'm like a turtle, give me unfamiliar people and I disappear into my shell. I become quiet and reserved and it takes quite a bit of coaxing to get me out of my shell. And I have always hated that about myself. Around family, I'm a chatter box and I love to laugh. In social sitations, I am a totally different person and I can understand why people might even think I come across as rude. I'm really not. 

I've been thinking... Is this something I should just become comfortable with about myself or something I should worry about and try to change? Is being socially reserved a bad thing? I'm ok with one or two people, but beyond that I kind of shut down. Is being quiet ok? Does it impact me negatively? I'm ok with just enjoying listening, but I worry about coming across as weird or stuck up. 

As I get older, I don't get intimidated as often. I am comfortable with me, with my likes and dislikes, I'm ok with being me. Is being quiet me? Should I embrace it as just my personality or do I need to change? 

Specifically in social work or school situations with big groups I feel the same way. I don't want to appear as a slacker. My work proves I am not. I voice my opinion in other ways, but big meetings or large classes make me disappear inside my shell. I hope it doesn't impact me negatively, but I worry about that. Some people are extroverts and some are introverts, but does everyone understand that? I always hope my performance and track record would prove that my quietness is no indicator of being a slacker, because I am not. 

I guess I'm just voicing my worries here tonight. I hate the nervousness and anxiety that being socially shy brings. I've gotten better, but I don't know how others do it so naturally. So what do you quietness a personality trait or a flaw?


  1. I think it is a good quality. I am a listener and come across people who will tell me their life story because I show no judgement and listen. I think if you show confidence in your abilities you don't necessarily need to be loud and center stage. Always stand up for yourself in a confident manner and enjoy listening to what others have to say. I personally think that there are enough loud talkers in the world and we need more thoughtful reserve people. It's just my opinion and thoughts.

  2. I think it is a personality trait and definitely not a flaw. Just as you worry about how quiet you are, I worry about how loud, talkative, and extroverted I am! Lol Most of the time, I seem to make friends super easily, people feel comfy around me, and I'm okay with who I am. At other times, though, I worry that I am coming across as silly and unintelligent or pushy and know-it-all with my incessant yapping. I always end up being the class clown who is the center of attention or the one who has a strong opinion about the topic being discussed. I can't IMAGINE a world full of everyone being like me! Annoying! :) However, I notice because I'm such an extrovert and seem to "tell all" that others tend to confide in me things that would be embarrassing for them to tell a person who isn't quite as open with their own personal life. I think this world takes all kinds of people, and I definitely don't view shy/quiet as weak!

  3. I am socially shy, or maybe I used to be. I have gotten much better with age. I still don't want to be the center of attention and I like small groups much better. I really think if you are happy with yourself, you're great!

  4. I absolutely think its a trait. And like Staci, I don't see it as a flaw. If everyone was gregarious and outgoing, the world would be a very noisy place!!

  5. It is absolutely okay. I am very much an introvert and very shy in public. I am confident, however and people see that. Quiet strength can actually say a lot.

  6. Read the book Quiet the power of introverts in a noisy world. It's very good and changes shyness into a great quality.

  7. It's not a bad quality at all. We (I'm an introvert also) have lots to offer the world and have strengths that extroverts don't possess. Check out this Ted Talk by Susan Cain.

  8. Its something I do as well and have to say its something I worry about. Sometimes I wish I could speak up more and say what I want to say. But being a good listener is also a good thing, it means when you say stuff it means more. Its not talking for sake of talking. So try see it as a positive and embrace it and you'll find your confidence will grow.



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