Thursday, October 30, 2014

Dear Strangers, Please don’t ask about my baby’s hemangioma

At about a week old, a spot appeared on the back of baby girl’s head. Hubby and I actually noticed it at her newborn assessment appointment and were worried because it looked like a bruise (oh no…what were they going to think?! We didn’t do a thing!). The nurse practitioner immediately knew it was the beginning of a hemangioma (also called a strawberry mark) and said not to worry about it.

Over the course of probably about 4 months, the hemangioma grew—as they do. It is heart shaped and is about the size of a large marble. None of you readers would even know she has it because it’s in such an inconspicuous spot.

From the moment I did research and saw that the hemangioma would become larger and then gradually disappear, I knew that I would never want her to feel like this was a “deformity”, but when she was old enough to understand, I wanted her to feel like it was something unique about her—her own special heart stamp that God gave her.

And after being in public, I am afraid that this is going to be a heart wrenching task for hubby and me.

You wouldn’t believe the random strangers that come up to us in the grocery store and ask us what that spot is on her head. “Is that a birthmark? What happened to her head? What is that thing?” Fingers pointing all the while.

This past weekend this woman rolled her motorized scooter in front of our stroller to ask these questions, trapping us in the spot. When hubby explained what it was, she said, “well that sucks…”.

And what do you do with that kind of a comment about your beautiful baby girl with a pretty little strawberry heart on the back of her head. It crushes you. It breaks your heart for her. I am so glad she does not understand.

I know that these strangers are just curious, but I would never, ever go up to someone and ask them what was wrong with their child.

I know that kids will be curious—but we also once had a boy ask me a bunch of questions about the strawberry mark and then proceed to ask questions like, “will her hood even fit over her head?” (it’s not that big) and the parent did not even correct him. What is wrong with people?

I’m not sure what my point of writing this post is—maybe just to get my thoughts out of my head. I wish strangers wouldn’t ask, but for our beautiful baby girl, hubby and I will continue to answer these questions as if it is no big deal. And when she understands, we will make sure that these questions are always answered with positivity and pride. Even if our hearts are breaking for her on the inside.


  1. My son has one too, and it's shaped like a heart. I can't believe how bold people are. <3

  2. Wow, rude! I mean, there's a difference in politely asking and being rude, but still. I don't ask those kinds of things unless I really know someone or am in a deep conversation with them and feel comfortable asking! A missionary we know just had their first child and she has one on her cheek. It started bleeding randomly, so at 4 months old they started with laser treatments to have it removed. I read another blog once where a little girl had one that covered the entire front of her scalp, and they did some sort of surgery to remove it, but hers was probably 10 inches in diameter. I have something on the right back of my head that feels like a knot. I remember one time raking my brush across it and it started bleeding. Wonder if that's what I have, too?! I wasn't aware that they went away, though, so that's good that your doctor thinks hers will. :::sigh::: I'm not sure why people are so bold in thinking everything is their business nowadays! Sienna is beautiful, and people need to get over the fact that she has a small thing on the back of her head. Goodness!

  3. Some people are just idiots. You can't fix stupid! Chin up, you will raise a beautiful, healthy, and kind little girl.

  4. A friend and I can total relate to this, we were just speaking of how bold people are. Her daughter is going thru helmet molding therapy and the questions and comments are just beyond us!!! And my daughter has a rash on her face looks like really bad chicken pox gone wild ( doc said it was a reaction to mosquito bites which was weeks ago on a nature walk, I'm going back soon though because they still aren't clearing) but the questions I get are ridiculous!! I just would never approach anyone in such a manner! So, if I had a blog I would totally write something similar, even though you don't know your point, I know where you are coming from.

  5. I cannot believe how people act sometimes. I have a mark on the front of my neck that gets darker in the summer and people tell me my neck has dirt on it, nope just a birth mark. People need to mind their own business and embrace differences.

  6. People can be so rude. Ugh... Sorry you have to deal with that. It's got to be hard enough being a new mom to then have to worry about this. Hang in there, and kiss that head with it's beautiful heart from god everyday.

  7. My son had a strawberry mark on his back - it went away after a couple of years (and honestly, I didn't even notice at first, because I was so used to seeing it). People who do comment? Jerks of the first degree. There's no call to ask a random stranger ANYTHING about their baby.

  8. My granddaughter and her Mother both have and had strawberry marks. We people asked about them I told them this is where god touch them and told them they were ready to be born.Works really well.



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