Saturday, April 4, 2015

Habits of the Mind #HAWMC #Postpartumdepression #ppdchat

Today’s prompt is titled “Creature of Habit” and inquires about any habits that I have that are either good or bad. I do have some good habits, like drinking a big glass of water first thing in the morning. We generally think about habits as being an action, but I think that we can also form habits of the mind.

I have a really bad habit of putting myself down in my thoughts and sometimes out loud. I can’t look in the mirror without finding something about myself that I hate. I tend to think more negatively about myself than positively. Perhaps it comes from perfectionist tendencies. I have been doing this for years and it really is a habit that is hard to break—although I am confident that it can be done with a lot of hard work and mindfulness.

When you have been thinking negatively about yourself for years, you might not even realize that you are thinking negative thoughts. Habits are often done without any thought simply because they are so ingrained in your routine that you don’t even have to think about it anymore. This is the same with negative thoughts—you start doing so without even realizing it.

My negative thinking came to a head with postpartum depression. The thinking became much worse and all consuming—so much that it interfered with my day to day life. I was afraid to go outside because I felt like everyone was judging me as a bad mother and as fat and disgusting (which also made me a bad mother). I thought the neighbors saw me as a terrible mother and I wanted to close the curtains. I thought that I would never be able to get it all together and to be a good mother—I felt like I wasn’t capable. I still struggle with these things but lately they have been much less impactful since my medicine started working and I have gone to counseling.

I recently blogged about the advice my psychiatrist gave me—don’t wait for negative thoughts to arise before you practice positive self talk, practice positive self talk every day and all of the time.

I am currently working on this and it’s hard for me to do. I only see the negative things about myself. My husband helps me out and when I say something negative, he will ask me to say a few things positive about myself. It always shocks me at how long it takes me to come up with something I like about myself. When I am really struggling, he tells me things that he loves about me. It’s a good idea to ask someone close to you to help you with this endeavor.

Thinking negative thoughts becomes habit, as will thinking positive thoughts. It’s a choice you have to mindfully make.

What’s a habit that you have that is either good or bad?


  1. My bad habit is also negative self talk, either mentally or out loud. My husband used to debate those out loud ones, but I would just tell him I knew he was lying, or some other rude comment, so he has gotten to where he is afraid to rubbutal me in those times. :( He does, however, tell me at many other times (when I am happy, lol) how beautiful he thinks I am.

  2. What a coincidence....last night at church we were asked to write down something on a piece of paper they had handed to us as we walked in....something we could once and for all "Give up to the Lord" and "quit having IT take up so much of our life where our time could be spent with God quietly reading, meditating, etc..."

    I wrote something along the lines of giving up negative self talk. ;-)



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