Friday, July 10, 2015

Weigh in Day & Food Boredom

Close up of scale on white background

It was pretty horrible and I expected it to be while hoping that it wouldn’t be. I gained another 1.7 lb. So now I am up 2.8 lbs. from my lowest.

While I did super well last week and had a gain, I did not do so well this week. I got through the 4th of July just fine, tracking all of my points and even walked a 5k. And then I woke up Sunday morning feeling overwhelmed and exhausted which led to stress and emotional eating. Totally guilty.

The problem is that I stopped tracking again. Why do I do that? I can’t seem to break the “needing to start again on Monday Friday” mindset. Ugh—I am a train wreck in pretty much every single way right now.

I know that change is 100% up to me. I want to change but I need to start creating new habits. Emotional eating has been a part of me for as long as I can remember—I can’t just say “stop emotional eating”, but I need to replace it with something. I am going to follow my counselor’s advice this week and when/if I feel the need to eat for reasons other than hunger, I will snack on carrot sticks or apples. It’s hard to gain weight eating those.

It also seems that when I am feeling like I do when I begin to eat my emotions, I just don’t care. I lose all ability to think logically and I just want some chocolate. I actually bought chocolate when I had to run into the store on Sunday, when I was feeling especially emotionally drained. Perhaps it’s like an addiction and I’m just craving that rush of feel good hormones. Maybe I should go to rehab. ha.

Lately, I open the fridge and can’t stand the thought of eating a spinach salad even though I bought the spinach in hopes that I would eat it. Ever since I was pregnant I have found salads disgusting. Well, I should say that I find salads that I make disgusting. I love eating at a salad bar or eating a salad made by someone else but the thought of eating a salad that I’ve made at home makes me want to gag. And I used to love salads and it’s one way that I made sure to eat healthy at lunch time.

I cannot stand ranch dressing ever since I followed Trim Healthy Mama and ate it all of the time because a certain brand of ranch was one of the few approved salad dressings. I have tried buying iceberg lettuce to see if maybe I just didn’t like spinach anymore and that still didn’t work. I should try boiling eggs and get some flavorful and healthy salad toppings that I would like. What a conundrum!

I am just bored with my food lately. Nothing sounds good. I stock up the house with healthy foods every week but I am struggling to figure out what to cook at meal times. All I really want to eat lately is cereal. Literally, I had cereal for supper last night. I could force myself to eat certain things but I’m not sure that is the answer either.

The meal I enjoyed the most last week was a grilled chicken sandwich and side salad at Culver’s. The salad was delicious because I didn’t make it, I guess. Plus I really love their French salad dressing. But anyway, I could make both of those things at home.

My method of cooking has always been that when we get hungry I cook something up. It didn’t matter how long it took, we just waited until it was done and ate. However, it seems like baby girl gets hungry way before hubby and I do or long before hubby gets home. So then I’m rushing to get something healthy together for a fussy baby and then we end up eating the same things over and over again.

I need to plan better and prepare our meals earlier so they are ready. Or maybe I need to start feeding baby girl a snack. Right now she typically just eats her three meals per day. Either way, I think it comes down to planning.

So anyways, this was just a free write of my thoughts. I’m disappointed in myself (again). I wish I could just rewind to the person I was when I lost almost 90 lbs. Apparently, I’ve picked up some bad habits since then—again.

I have not thrown in the towel though. I’m not giving up on myself.

11 comments:

  1. *hugs* I totally know all of these feelings.

    It definitely sounds like some planning will go a long way. I've been planning out our dinners for the week, but still keeping things flexible. Last night's dinner, for instance, was going to take too long to prep so I swapped it out for a faster, easier thing that was on the menu for this weekend. After the kids went to bed last night I cooked tonight's dinner so I all I need to do tonight is warm it up.

    Another thing that helps me immensely is to have a well-stocked pantry. I always have various pastas, rice, canned tomatoes, pasta sauce, beans, etc. in the pantry. When you have lots of items available it's a little easier to whip something up that sounds good.

    Anyway, I just wanted to say you're not alone and I'm glad you're not giving up on yourself. Things will come around again. The low times don't last forever.

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  2. This weight loss and weight maintenance thing isn't easy, so much of it is roadblocks I n our heads and in our culture. In my first trimester, I can't tell you the number of times I had cereal for dinner. It's been several weeks of working on my dinner habits to get them back to normal, now that I feel better, but if I do feel better? I don't know that I'll be able to do it. You're not alone and struggling, but I think you are going to succeed in the end, even if it's not a linear journey!!

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  3. Planning is definitely a huge help. What if you tried feeding baby girl dinner and just eating a snack with her? Probably 4/7 nights, I make the kids an easy dinner--mac 'n cheese, spaghetti, quesadillas, etc--and just eat a salad or some fruit with them. Then my husband and I will eat after they're in bed (or just me, if he's working late). On the weekends I'll make a good dinner for all of us to eat together, and I usually try to cook 1-2 meals that will give us good leftovers, which I'll eat for lunch and dinner for us for a night or two. It definitely makes it easier.

    I understand food burnout too! I'll eat the same things for several weeks, then suddenly it just doesn't good to me anymore, and it takes a little bit for me to find something to replace what I burned out on.

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  4. Ugh, I'm sorry. And I know exactly what you mean about not wanting to start tracking again until a "new week" begins. And I also can relate to how unproductive that is!!! Been there many times, still got the fat t-shirt. LOL My only advice is to say "I blew it. I am restarting TODAY and allowing myself 10 weekly points to get me through the rest of this WW week." Without the extra points, things just seem hard. Pull some from the air if you need to. It's better than not pretending you have some and eating 40 more instead of just 10, kwim? Again, I can talk it but can I walk it? :-/

    I think at your daughter's age, my kids had bfast, snack, lunch, snack, supper, so you probably should throw in at least one snack, sounds like between lunch and supper. I know at the neurology appt, the doctor said it was important to give my son protein snacks throughout the day for his growing body. It is so easy to start in with junky snacks for kids because they are so easy, but maybe if you could test her out on hard boiled eggs cut up with fruit, chunks of avocado with Ritz crackers, MultiGrain Cheerios and banana... I dunno. Just some stuff that wouldn't be complete junk but that you know she'll eat.

    I wish I could rewind to 2007. I would be almost back to my wedding weight and radiating with confidence and happiness. For some reason, I can't seem to find that era again. We just have to keep trying! ((hugs))

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  5. I highly recommend the website Skinny Taste. I got into an awful food rut and that site has made all the difference. Also, try menu planning for the week. It takes the guess work out of my week which is a make or break for me. Also, maybe share your fav healthy quick recipe and let others comment with theirs? I made a stir fry last night that took 15 mins and I wanted to lick the pan! Just reach out to others for ideas!

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  6. I hear ya on the food boredom. I too go through that. And I feel I have tried every diet and every diet has worked. I guess I am a good student when I try something new but, as soon as the goal is met I fall back to my same snacking patterns and before one (oops I ;-) know it the pounds are back.

    I have been looking for something new to try again....the vision of eating better and less is what I want but just can't do it on my own.

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  7. Emotional eating is a tricky one. I find that it sometimes helps to take a nap or a walk when I'm wanting to chow down on chocolate and know that my body doesn't need it. Have you tried the Adora calcium chocolates? I have those and they definitely help with chocolate cravings. Plus, you can't overdo it or you will get sick so it's like built in portion control LOL. I've been bored with food lately too. It is just so hard when you have a baby or toddler and don't know when you will have time to cook. I feel like we are eating the SAME things over and over and that pushes me to chow down on a bag of chips or whatever is most convenient. You CAN and WILL make progress, it just takes time and time is all we have, right? :)

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  8. I get in food ruts too!! Are u on instagram?? If you look up weight watcher hash tags there are so many good ww followers that post their food and it constantly gives me good ideas!! Even youtube. Recently I like simply jenana. She does ww food.vlogs and ww.cape.cod woman and weight watcher girl 1. They all have great inspiring videos for good ideas! :)

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  9. I get in food ruts too!! Are u on instagram?? If you look up weight watcher hash tags there are so many good ww followers that post their food and it constantly gives me good ideas!! Even youtube. Recently I like simply jenana. She does ww food.vlogs and ww.cape.cod woman and weight watcher girl 1. They all have great inspiring videos for good ideas! :)

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  10. Everyone has wonderful helpful ideas for you here! I get in such food ruts as well! Tired of the same old thing and then binge on the "good stuff". Looking at different food sites gives me good ideas for different foods to eat. I love looking at pinterest for ideas! You've got this! You are making progress just reaching out for new ideas! :)

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  11. This is a life long process and there will be times when you need to own up to what's happening when things go backwards a bit, (which you have), dust yourself off, and then move forward. It sounds like you're on the right track by not giving up-you can do this!

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