Monday, June 13, 2016

It's My Life

Another thing that my therapist told me has stuck with me and is influencing my thoughts in a good way. I hadn't realized it prior to our conversation, but I very much rely on the approval of others. In other words, I'm a people pleaser.

That doesn't mean that I always do what other people want me to, but I will very likely worry about what the other people think of me--to the point where I question myself and my decisions. It becomes a little obsessive as I ruminate over whether or not I'm doing the right thing. 

Sometimes I want someone else to make the choices for me so that I don't have to. Or I'll ask someone's opinion but then get upset when they don't agree with me, because what I was really looking for was validation that my opinion was correct. I don't like the idea of not having approval--for whatever reason!

"You're in charge of your own life."

That sentence opened my eyes to my behavior. I'm in charge of my own life. I can do what I want, make the decisions that I want, and even if others disagree with me--it ultimately doesn't matter. It's my life. (of course I mean that with all respect to my husband because in some areas it's our life)

It has changed the way I think. I recently had a conversation in which I could tell that the other person didn't agree with something I was doing. In the past, that would have really bothered me and I would have had a pity party knowing that I wasn't getting their approval. But you know what? It didn't bother me one bit this time... because it's my life.

The only approval I need is God's. 

Why has it taken me 30 years to realize my behaviors? I have no idea. But I'm glad that I did.

Yep, this song came to mind!

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